Religion Shitpost #2: Jewish and Roman influence on Christianity

Mar 7, 2021

Okay, I've got some answers about the (alleged) early history of Christianity, from the messianic prophecies to the reign of constantine. I want to emphasize the word alleged; it's all tainted by censorship and propaganda.

The old testament, which is 3/4 of the bible, consists of hazy legends, prophecies, dogma, and advice from the period of about 1500 to 500 BC. In the Catholic/Orthodox bible, Machabees extends the timeline to about 140 BC, covering the Jewish war of independence against the Greek empire established by Alexander the Great across the middle east and north africa. Fun times lol.

Historical records tell us the Romans first invaded Judea in 63 BC, battled with Greeks and Parthians (Iranians) for control of the area, and finally imposed direct control in 6 AD. A Jewish-Greek culture war was brewing; Caligula egged it on in the 30's, entangling the Roman administration in it. There were violent flare-ups and riots for years. In 66 the Jews rose up against the Romans, who destroyed the second temple of Jerusalem in 70, and over a million residents died in the siege. In 115, Jews in other parts of the empire massacred over 400,000 Greco-Roman civillians (bet you didn't learn that in school). In 132 a Jew named Simon bar Khokba declared himself the messiah, recruited a huge militia to overthrow the Romans, ran Judea as an autonomous zone for 2 years, and even minted his own coinage. Then Emperor Hadrian waged a punic war against the Jews, with heavy losses to his own troops, well over 600k Jews dead, many enslaved, cities and villages destroyed throughout Judea, and a continuing harsh persecution until his death in 138.

This was a formative period for Judaism as well as Christianity. If second temple Judaism was apocalyptic, the destruction of the temple ushered in a quasi-postapocalyptic era. Some Jews (called Nazarenes and Ebionites) believed Jesus was their messiah, and when these tentative Christians rejected bar Khokba's messianic claim and were persecuted by his revolutionaries, they broke away from Judaism. The remaining Jews rejected Christ.

Many Christians today would have us believe that all 1st-century Christians were Jews. However, if they believe the bible, they should try reading it. In the gospel of St John, they would see Jesus tearing down the old covenant and gaining Gentile followers. In Acts 15, they would see Paul and Barnabas converting Gentiles, and St Peter and St James rejecting the Pharisees' demands for all Christian converts to get circumcised and follow Jewish law. I think it likely that Jesus and the apostles tailored their message to their audiences to build a 'big tent' following. This is pertinent later, as it provides some cover to the Roman Catholics who dropped the commandment against idolatry to welcome Pagans, and to present-day liberal denominations abandoning their dogma in a desperate tug-of-war with Atheism.

Apparently many early Christians were assholes toward Pagans, smashing their idols, violently attacking them, even shunning their own family members. It sounds like the leftist/Trumpist schism today. I guess the NPC's didn't get Jesus' message "love your enemy" and "be wise as serpents and peaceful as doves" and not to virtue signal.

In the 2nd century, the 'Gnostic' sects and other variations of Christianity were spreading throughout the Greek-speaking Eastern Roman Empire and beyond. Apparently they each had their own gospels, some authentic, some corrupted, some totally fabricated. Many of these were later branded as heresy and nearly all copies destroyed. What little survives contains elements of mysticism and eastern religions, and influenced 20th-century postmodernists and occultists like Aleister Crowley. Apparently the poster child of gnostic texts is the 'Apocryphon of St John', rediscovered in 1945. Reminiscent of Revelations/Apocalypse (purportedly written by St John) it describes a hierarchy of dieties with a 'Monad' at the top and the old testament God as a corrupted 4th-tier Archon sim-lord. Interesting.

(Side note: the name 'Q anon' might actually come from a theory that the gospels of Matthew, Luke, and Mark were abridged versions of a lost 'gospel according to Q'. It fits with the quasi-biblical language of many Q posts.)

(The Roman Catholic bible's introduction to St John's gospel offers a simpler explanation: he wrote it 50 years later to fill in important parts of the story that the other gospels glossed over.)

In the 3rd century, the church grew into a centralized orthodox institution resembling the ones we know. The church fathers weeded out heretical gospels and finalized the canonical books of the old and new testament. There was a lot of retarded drama, but remember, these people didn't have youtube, only church. By the end of the century, Christianity was a parallel society within Rome that threatened to eclipse the empire itself.

Meanwhile, the Roman Empire went where America appears headed: economic decline, government excess, bread and circus, tranny emperor, migrant crisis, currency crisis, widespread unrest, supply chain collapse, civil wars, the Plague of Cyprian (ebola?), the Decian Persecution, etc... After 60 years of this, Emperor Diocletian took the helm in 284 and partially restored order. Then he appointed 3 co-emperors to form the 'Tetrarchy' to help defend the remote frontiers of the empire. In 305 he retired, shortly after ordering the harshest persecution of Christians ever. "Your religion or your life". Crucifixions, the rack, hot pokers, burning at the stake, and in at least one case, slow-roasting. Co-emperor Constantius had a lot of Christian staff and did what he could to protect them. In 306 he died and named his son Constantine as successor.

Constantine gradually decriminalized and normalized Christianity, defeated his rival co-emperors in battle to become sole emperor, and elevated the church to the Roman Catholic Church. In 380 Theodosius 1 declared Trinitarian Christianity the state religion of the empire and began to persecute Pagans as harshly as Diocletian had persecuted Christians. Naturally, mainstream history paints a glowing picture of Constantine. Critics (including Edward Gibbon) suggest that he was a military mastermind who manipulated Christianity for political advantage, or simply realized it wasn't worth fighting, and they blame the final collapse of the empire on Christianity. I suppose an obedient and rigidly nonviolent brand of Christianity may have been expedient for domestic tranquility, but eventually it undermined the empire's military strength or the political will to use it. On the other hand, even if Constantine sincerely supported Christianity, Christian values withered away in Roman/Byzantine high society, and this religion of freedom became a tool of oppression. Either way the law of unintended consequences prevailed in the end.

In closing, to answer my main question, did Roman tyrants fuck with the bible? No, it seems orthodox Christianity as we know it was thriving long before Rome's embrace, it was already dogmatic, and it was always being infiltrated and co-opted by various usurpers to some degree. However, if the usurpers were the ones who wrote the gospels and made them canon, they wouldn't have undermined their own legitimacy.